Almost 7 billion people in the world
And I’m having sex with myself.
(Source: xwitch-king, via memewhore)
I’m unbearably & superfluously horny today.
my professor's an asswipe
Ridiculous Prof: EY! what are you doing looking under the table? are you texting under there?
girl sitting next to me: OH no! I was putting a bandaid on my foot...
Prof: ORLY? haha, but you see? this is what I'm saying you all get distracted by trivial things when you should be paying attention to ME as I'm paying attention to you.
Prof [on email sent to the class later on]: (assignment) Get this big picture straight ahead of class and you will be well ahead of the game - and less inclined to check your social network or bandaid or whatever...................
awkward unnecessary comments?
Roomie [after not speaking for weeks]: just in case you were wondering, I've been the one restocking the toilet paper.
Me: Oh, K...